our GuaranTwee

The most important thing is not to piss you off.
So we guarantee that anything you buy here will be as good
or better than you expected, and we won’t faff about if
something goes wrong.

We've been doing this since 2003. We’re at the end of the
phone and in front of the emails. You won’t get stuck in a
convo with a bot or a binary code. There are people here
between 10-3pm who aren’t electronic.

The word ‘policy’ is banned at Twisted Twee.
Whenever I’m told, ‘It’s our policy to…’ it’s usually followed
by some barely legal, wholly unreasonable decree
which is never in my favour. We will be as cooperative as
our husbands allow and bend the ‘rules’ wherever possible.
But we won’t refund knickers because that’s disgusting!!!

We only use suppliers who have superb credentials,
make things well and treat their staff properly.

We will send your goods out in cool reusable, cotton bags and
not entombed in a ton of gift wrap and rubbish.

We will not impose a time limit on returning goods for a refund
or exchange. (Actually 2 years seems generous enough now
I come to think about it as long as they are unworn and resellable.)


We won’t try and cajole you into an exchange when you just
want your goddamn money back.

We won’t pass your names or details on to anyone even if they’re
good looking and you beg us to. Not genna do it.


And we understand there is nothing more deflating than giving an
Underwhelming gift. So we try very hard not to let that happen.
And if it does we do everything we can to make amends swiftly
and satisfyingly.

 Now go and bloody BUY something! x