Traditionally ShittyGifts are make by children to give their grandparents, but nowadays, what with Spanish homework, Swim Squad, debating club and kickboxing, kids just don't have the time. And so the old folk aren't getting their ShittyGifts. And we think that's a tragedy.
So Twisted Twee will make the ShittyGifts for your children to give their grandparents this Christmas. We will create authentically shabby objects without a real function or use, use the cheapest materials and apply the least care in order to dumb down standards to reach the level of incompetence required to meet your childrens' abilities.
There are three classics in the range - Toilet Roll Santa, Dairylea Snowman Calendar and Shit Kinit. Toilet Roll Santa looks great on top of the tree, or with a couple of fruit jellies stuffed up him.
Snowman Calendar uses the round lid of a Dairylea box. It's particularly convincing as we're careful to run out of steam by the middle of February and leave the rest of the calendar blank. And as a bonus we'll send you the Dairylea cheese too. We're all lactose intolerant anyway, so that's eight little meals right there.
The beauty of Shit Kinit is that is can be used for anything. A lose change purse. A phone cover for a tiny old Nokia, a bits and bobs bag, trinket sack....And it will probably come with moth which can spread like wildfire throughout grandparents' woollens so they'll have a little reminder of it long after the gift has disintegrated.
By supporting a small business this Christmas, I don't want to you to worry that the multinationals will miss out financially, so for every ShittyGift I sell, I pledge to give £1 of the proceeds to support Google.
We love to see your photos, so if you upload images of ShittyGIft, please remember to tag us #twistedtwee, thanks